So the Bacon Fryers now have a roster to challenge the CHoPS’ Battle-axes…The team is assembled and captained by its QB:
Detective Stabler from Law and Order: SVU. (CHoPS, since you don’t own cable service, this guy is a badass)
Stabler has the perfect QB combo…a slick outer appearance, a knack for getting it done, and a bit of a dick side…just call him Brady…only not injured.
Plus stabler can sure get a lot out of merchandising…
Next to his supporting cast…at Half Back, a two-headed monster of sorts who has the speed to make it down the field:
They’ll get into the end zone…as long as Myles Mayhem doesn’t kidnap them AGAIN!!!
At Full back…an off-season free agent acquisition from overseas:
A KANGAROO!!!! I mean c’mon…you’d sign him.
Next, is the wide receivers:
Paris Hilton eating a Cheeseburger…let’s face it, her dumb ass appears everywhere else (plus I’ve watched film on her…she’s a REALLY GOOD RECEIVER)
At the other WR we have:
HURRICANE IKE…that SOB moves fast, can catch anything (picnic table, tree, house), plus he’s a long distance guy…hell he streaked all the way to Indiana, you think he can’t go 100 yeards?
My next draftee…is quite an Iron Man…at tight end it’s:
Robert Downey, Jr.
This guy is PERFECT for tight end…he’s managed to BLOCK all the negative press and CATCH some big praise for his latest films…plus he’s got a mechanical heart!
Under center we’ve got a big guy ready to make a big block:
“Hey what ya doin’ touchin’ mah nuts ya queer? Do it again dere, and I’ll make you mah special victim!”
Geez calm down Carl…you’ve got four O-line guys helpin’ you out and you couldn’t find 4 better:
Stylin’ and profilin’ in their team shirts it’s the 4 Horsemen!
If you think the Offense kicks butt…wait til you see the D-line:
Now just wait til you hear why I picked them…um…well…ok I just like the show ok! Plus that Bea Arthur is one BAAAAAAD MAN!
Next up at Middle Linebacker:
Yeah this guy can sneak in to just about anywhere…and nail you with a WHOPPER…look out QB’s!
At outside linebackers a couple of rocks that few have been able to conquer:
OLMEC!!! & THE AGRO CRAG
At corners, two buff dudes who are very quick:
Quick with a cheesy joke, quick with a new jingle for their advertising business, quick to change little Nicky and Alex, or wipe Michelle’s tears…and quick to pound your wide recievers to the turf!!!!
And at safety…how bout a couple of these bastards:
If they can steal your money while dancing like Michael Jackson, they sure can steal that long bomb and run it back or cut off that long run before you pick up 7 points (or a trip to the Bahamas) NO TOUCHDOWN, NO TOUCHDOWN, BIG DEFENSE….STOP!!!
And finally the all important kicker…our team had to let our veteran kicker go when they realized that he sucked for obvious reasons…
He had no feet! We need to sign someone with feet….