So the wife and I are departing for trip to the big easy this weekend.  New Orleans…beware of pick pockets and loose women…

Sorry New Orleans, I plan on rewriting that statement to BEWARE OF A BANDIT AND HIS HOT WIFE.  Heads are going to roll.

here are 10 things that will make my short trip all the more memorable.

10.  I want challenge someone to a duel…

…dressed like a cat.

9.  I want to spend an entire night insulting drunk people while being even more drunk

“Nice Table cloth bitch, your dudes neck skin makes him look like a ventriliquist dummy”

“Hey you’re busted, I’ll give you a girls gone wild shirt if you put this cigarette out in your eye.”

“Jesus is your father, lord and Savior…and you’re doin’ daddy proud!!!”

8.  I want to fight an alligator.

exactly.

7.  I want to leave my mark on the french quarter

So much that they rename it the Irish half

6.  I want to fight…

…everything

5.  I want to fight another alligator

YES

4.  Introduce the big easy to hurricane chops

this plus this

equals hurricane CHoPS

3.  Lead a revolt

Against what? …sobriety

2. fight an alligator

you’re going down gator
1.  get picked up by the saints in time for the playoffs

…good enough