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CHoPS

Fun on pain killers

10.14.08 | 2 Comments

modern medicine doesn’t care about me…

here are the top 10 things to do on Lortabs…I might even add pics

10. Break into your neighbors house

And why not? I’ve shaved my head and have nothing to do with my new comb. not only that, what if they’ve left the iron on, then they’re going to burn my house/apt down. jerks

9.  fight a cheetah

fuckin cheetah. fast. i’ll prepare for this battle by watching cartoons all day and eating soft batch cookies

8.  attack the wal-mart santa.  preferably dressed like scorpion from mortal combat, or the scorpion king from the mummy movies, or the scorpions

More Cowbell santa.

7.  drive school buses on field trips….

…for people that are 1000% blind.eat a penis

6. Swim in a pool that is really really really really deep and filled with syringes.

actually this was just a nightmare i had while on ‘tabs…i dont really wanna do this one nor do i wanna find a pic for this one  >>>shivers<<<

5. STOP FUCKING SCRATCHING!

Note: a side effect of tabs are scratching like a crack head…no shit, add the jitters and your ready for a hip hop record deal BOY-EEE!!!

4. hit the road on my scooter

Actual likeness…no shit, ask danger.

I’ve named it scoot.  It’s really that small. my trip will consist of movie gallery to rent cartoons and the family dollar next door for soft batch cookies…ahhhh, the open road

…fucking cheatah

3A.  play with firearms…
…preferably on a unicycle.
3B.  Jump on trampolines while wearing stilts with the bandits

Just imagine. SHHHHH…..use your imagination…i need a pepsi, scoot and I will be right back.

2. Get a contract with the WWE only to flunk the wellness policy because…well i’m on lortabs.

Not everybody gets a second cha…forth chance.

1. Slap a cup of coffee out of the hand of the president elect just before his inauguration speech, so he can’t keep his shit together at the podium, and while I’m getting the piss and shit kicked out of me by secret service dudes I’ll be screaming–

“I DIDN’T EVEN VOTE, BITCH!!! TOUCHED…BY AN ASSHOLE!!!”

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