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CHoPS

Things I Learned Living With Bandits…

07.31.08 | 4 Comments

If you didn’t know the Bandits formed when Genghis Dilznic, Bradamir Bacon and I lived Together in Bulgaria, Nicoli Maverich was only a short drive away in Croatia. We had yet to meet Dangerous P. Frog, as he was stealing ancient artifacts with Shia Labeouf in a Mayan Temple…or was it Shirley Temple?

While Living with the bandits during our formative years, I learned Alot.  You can too, just move in with a bandit.  I do it to Bacon all the time.  And go on a journey of learnitude…its like church camp, with nudity, booze, and man humping.  Here are some things I learned while living in the hub of bandit-ness…

1.  Public Embarrassment is ok…

Papa Bacon: “Chops, I paid for an open bar…take advantage of it”
-oh, i did.  Before the toast, after the toast, during the toast.
this lead to-Dancing with Grandma Bacon, me informing Lori that my knee was “touching her ass” and drunkin rambling to Grandpa Bacon for roughly nine hours
2.  Bandits love robots

-I’m the sheriff in these here parts and bandit bot 2005 is my deputy, he wears rings on both of his human hands
3.  Bandits encourage wife love…even each others

-she wants me

4.  Bandits Bond…and bond themselves together

Hey where is the rest of bacon?
5.  Man comfort is the best kind of comfort

-we just watched Titanic…don’t judge me

6.  _ _ _ _ is a _ _ _ _ of _ _ _ _ .

Hey bacon, you like mad libs…have fun.
7.Every Bandit is a jungle jim

HA! HAIRDRESSERS!!!
8.  Sitting on the floor is okay when you’re drunk, it makes it harder to fall

-a wise man once called me a floor fish, then he did a hand stand
9. It’s okay to dress alike
or
sometimes Mav will pee in a Beer bottle and tell you its a “Fancy foreign beer” that you need to try

-nope…just piss, nice shirts guys
10.  Sometimes Nipples want to get drunk too

-“hey there tiny nipple, you’re going home with me tonight”
11.  A bandit will sweep another bandits back when in need
or
Bandit workout sessions are weird
or
never bend over around bandits, THEY WILL POUNCE!

Thank you good night!!!

CHorPS Jorgenson

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