With our powers combined…

08.01.08 | 4 Comments

Capt. Planet was a total shart.

Eat a dick.

This guy however was awesome

^ Captain Bedsores ^

Lets Review
-Fire: BADASS!!! Dude could throw fucking fireballs! WITH OUT PRESSING DOWN, DIAGONAL, TOWARDS, STRONG PUNCH
-Earth: AWESOME!!! You could alter terrain…guy could have erected monoliths everywhere and be worshiped
-Wind: ASSHOLE!!! She can knock shit over or out of peoples hands…Why not me? Why Not?
-Heart: ULTRA LAME!!! Seriously, this is the gayest thing ever put in a cartoon, and given to the biggest pussy of them all. ‘Heart’ is the reason Captain Planet was baby blue…

…So I started thinking. Surely the Bandits could make something so much more badass…But what would our powers be?

Dilznic- The Blue Warrior would be empowered by…

METAL!!! But not just hair metal, or death or heavy metal…but, Scrap metal as well.

Chops the Tiny ninja Would wear the schvetband of

SPINKICK!!!!  Quicker than the combined 3 ninjas.

Brad Bacon Dawns the band of:

AWESOME FACIAL HAIR…or at least a ‘stache-goatee combo

Nick Maverick contributes to badassery with…

DRUNKEN DANCING…OH WAIT I BET HE ENDS UP NAKED BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, AND CONTINUES TO DANCE…NAKED…and DRUNK. This entitles you to a superhero career of hangovers and asking “Hey did you see my balls last night?”

Danger Frog rocks the powers of the…

MOON!!!!…and what in the blue hell does Moon do? Who the Fuck knows? what the fuck did heart do? Sweet…you get to orbit stuff. Sorry, Danger every team needs the WTF power…IE: Heart. You’re our heart, Danger. You’re my Heart….

And with our powers combined we form…

Think about it…


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