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danger

10 Celebrity Spoilers

11.25.08 | 1 Comment

So I’m an avid fan of tabloid stuff. I basically live on the website www.wwtdd.com (what would tyler durden do.com) as well as filmdrunk.com and x17online. But what kills me about celebs is when they are out and about denying claims of things, when they are obviously caught. Then you see on TV channels like E! who are like, is this true and blah blah and try to bend things around only to come back like 5 weeks later to say oh yea, its real but to be totally burnasaurus rexed by the mighty internet.

But again, full credit to the wonderful minds over at WWTDD for imagery and being pure awesome.

For example.

1)Is Lindsay Lohan gay?

At once I’d say BI-Sexual, but here she’s making out with her DJ love toy boy thing girl.

So yea, she’s pretty gay. To solve things like this just don’t do this shit in public unless you’re gonna be open about it instead of denying it. Her family is just as bad about being total fibbers and bad role models.

2) Is Britney Spears a bad Parent?

Now I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say she’s not a bad parent, she’s just stupid.

I’m sure she loves her kids because any mother has a love for their kids unless they murder them or ship them off to Korea to the black market for money.

But honestly, I’ll go deeper here, their whole entire family is stupid. Show’s that fame can totally destroy a decent family kinda like our good friend Michael Jackson.

Lookin Real good real hot.

3) Does Edward from Twilight look like Egon from Ghost Busters?

Egon

and

Edward

My wife says they don’t look alike. I say give the kid a proton pack because that hair is like on the money with Egon from Ghostbusters.

Also I was curious if the bad vampire guy was inspired from a famous WWE/TNA Wrestler.

yea, I see it, stealers of gimmicks!

4) Is Kanye West a whiney bitch?

yes. Problem Solved. I don’t even have to go into detail

5) Is Amy Whinehouse a Real Person?


You don’t even have to have any evidential proof that this chick is a horse with no talent.

She is not Human. The Speak and Say has a picture of her on it. I learned this as a child, so why is it a shocker now?

6) Is Spencer a giant Douchebag

Another mystery solved, YES, why YES HE IS A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG who happened to marry this hot chick who is dumb. It’s like you just look at any expression this guy has on his face and you just want to go punch him in the jaw or ear. Gotta love celebs…er reality tv fake celebs who think they’re celebs but rather just 15 minute of fame people.

7) Is Oprah Black?

Yes, she’s black and a psychic and she also is one hell of a monopoly player. I played against her on Xbox Live last night on Gears of War 2. She’s like a frag queen. Don’t mess with the big O.

8) Celebs give babies dumb names.

Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long.

So I guess the kid is from da HOOD, the Mean Streetz, he’s raised by wolves in the jungle, and is in an incredible emo band (nothing against Fall Out Boy because yes they do have talent).

Celebs typically 97% of the time name their kids something stupid to be different because they think they’re not normal people. Here’s something for ya, what if your Celeb baby/kid/teen doesnt make it in Hollywood. Then they just have a stupid name. Thanks alot Mom and Dad. At least if you’re going to name the kid something strange name it a cool name like, Johnny McAwesomepants (insert Last name) or Luthor the King Destroyer of Orphans (last name), or possibly Thundaar, hell even Dirt McGirt.

8 part 2) Celebs think they are musicians.

Sorry, but Celebs trying to be musicians suck. Oh Scarlett….

Only one Celeb turned musician has been awesome and that is Jared Leto of 30 Seconds to Mars

yea, supposedly an emo band, but the fucker sometimes rides out on stage on a fucking WHITE HORSE (not amy whinehouse). Amazing live show they do. Plus the dude performs, unlike most celebs who have shit recorded and just dance around as it plays.

9) Madonna is a bitch

LOOK AT ME IN MY GRASS SHIRT THING. I stole it from SWAMP THING’s EBAY CLOSET.

You’re an evil woman, everyone knows it, you were cool in the 80’s then you went all weird, got worse, got old, and now you’re a shell of a creature. Spoiler: She’s only gonna get worse with her Ego.

10) Is Megan Fox mega hot?

yes. Figured we’d end on a good note. Hopefully I have faith that she’ll do a good thing and keep her life clean but naked most of the time.

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