So after watching a wonderful episode of The Suite Life with Zac and Cody last night, which I couldn’t find the remote to change the damn channel…DONT JUDGE ME!!!!, I got a great idea. But only to further my path in greatness I found this gem on our good friends at Gorillamask.net.

“My wife left me because the dolphins at Sea World gave me an erection

I thought I could reunify the family with a trip to the aquarium — but after my mishap, she kicked me out.”

Dear Mr. Aquatic Animal Lover,

My first thing that I say to you is shame on you for not slapping your wife for not respecting the power of a dolphin. Sometimes Dolphins give guys hard ons. I mean hell they are super smart and send like sonar waves through the air, which can cause erections. Plus you can do cool things with Dolphins like put them in a robot suit and like they’ll walk the earth shooting lasers and working out in the gym to have huge arms grow out of the side of them. Therefore, I’d diagnose your problem as a) you’re too manly for her to understand or b) you’re not getting any at home and the dolphin reminded you of the phrase flogging the dolphin which she wasn’t doing or c) you’re a fucking sicko who like aquatic creatures way too much.

I’m going on the whim that your problem is you’re waaaay tooo manly.

I assume you are a man, because you are staying at a Motel 6 right now because they are cheap as dirty asian hooker and you can save your money on cool things like beef jerkey and secret prizes at the dollar store. So here’s the solution Mr. Erection Pants.

Go home. Go straight to your wife with some flowers in hand. She’ll probably be pissed at you still, so you tell her that guys get erections at anything manly beyond manliness. Then plant a big lumberjack kiss on her and take her to bed (make sure you’re wearing a flannel shirt that’s torn and make sure your hair has grown out and you haven’t shaved for a few days). If that doesnt make her want to dry hump you right there, then leave and find a new one cause obviously yours is broken or a lesbian.

Sidenote: If my wife saw me with an erection, she either caused it, or would laugh at me for being so manly. And if I had kids they’d get erections to because of how awesome their father is.

I decided to go to and find some other people who may need my advice.

So I found a great site. Everyone has sex questions. Especially teens. So I figured, what the hell, I’ll give some advice to these kids.

Anal Advice:

Luvoral Feelin’ Sexy

Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Tn. Posts: 53

Afterwards?

BurnPianoBurn Voyeuristic

Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: in the woods next to a giant redwood Posts: 1

well one time I was working on a forrest and ran into a milk maid, So I tossed her over my shoulder and we did the whole anal thing. She complained that I ejaculated inside her. So I grabbed a pine cone and told her to use it. She did, problem solved, minty smell. Fresh as brand new daisy.

wood2991 Voyeuristic

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1

humiliate him

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Help! Someone! My boyfriend wants me to humiliate him during sex – do ‘really bad boy” things to him. I want to but am at a loss -

Any suggestions? Please we are meeting tonight and I want to surprise him!

Thanks

BurnPianoBurn Voyeuristic

Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: in the woods next to a giant redwood Posts: 1

Then I got this lovely message.

vBulletin Message