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danger

Twilight….

11.18.08 | 1 Comment

First let me start off by saying today is the day for Zombie Apocalypse and I am more excited than ever for Left 4 Dead. Screaming like a little school girl and all. But lets get on to the post.

So since this summer all I have heard about from my wife is TWILIGHT, I read these books, I’m gonna tell you about them, they’re making a movie about it, and it has Vampires!

My ears perked up for a second, then I went back to whatever I was doing, sleeping, gaming, interneting, playing music.

So I the good man that I am, will save you all the trouble of this movie and give you the shimmy.

Now take this as, I havent read the books, it’s what I remember from what my wife told me this summer which is long gone by now so I’m sure there will be gaps and missing parts, but bare with me because I’m a pro at this and I’ve seen the tRAILER for the MOVIE OKAY!! GET IT OKAYY!! GAH.

Note: I love my wife but she knows I have a short attention span and I’m forgiven for my lack of knowledge in this book/movie.

Anywho

pure gay

pure gay

TWILIGHT

So here’s what happens. This Girl who is white and normal, meets this Pale goth looking guy, who happens to be a vampire.

They fall in love. Other Vampire guys step into scene. They want to make her a vampire or kill her.

Pale Vampire guy (who is a jock in the film go figure) fights evil vampire people.

Did I mention their is a werewolf guy? oh, well he’s somewhere in the mix and he likes the normal white chick too.

Missing gaps: Yea something about a girl in an looney bin, the vampires family, a race car driver, david spade, the band coldplay, and Honey I shrunk the kids are included between these pages too, but I kinda went off into my own little world and missed half the discussion.

On to the next few books. So The vampire and white chick fall more in love, she gets knocked up, they have a mixed vampire white baby. The werewolf is sad. The end.

Now From what I understand this is just another movie about Forbidden Love.

How many other movies have we seen about Forbidden Love?

Well one sticks out in my mind.

JUNGLE FEVER BITCHES

JUNGLE FEVER BITCHES

Looks like someone copied the exact movie except instead of black people they put VAMPIRES IN IT.

HOW RACIST.

JUNGLE FEVER

So here’s what happens. This Girl who is white, meets this African American Gentleman, who happens to be awesome

They fall in love. Other white/black guys step into scene. They do not approve.

Awkward Racial Moments and Tension happen.

Missing gaps: I saw this back in like the early 90’s when I was young on like TNT or something so I’m going by memory again. I think there was Jazzy Jeff from the fresh prince in it and I think Gary Bussey is in it too all crazy eyed and making noises so you know the movie was totally off the wall.

Never the less, their love is too powerful for anyone’s thoughts on it, and they get married, have a baby and a dog named Scooter. The End.

On to present times.

So, the question is, with all the fads that are in and out now or days, will hot chicks now start liking the goth guy and those nu metal kids that you make fun of like they just got back from a disturbed concert?

bad parenting

bad parenting

Can you seriously see this guy with

NO WAI in HELLZ

NO WAI in HELLZ

I’ve already heard of fights at Hot Topic and stuff about this movie.

Honestly, I think that it’s going to be a lost hope. It’s bad enough that when we play a show guys swing their arms around kicking and jumping in girl pants.

Now, we’re gonna have to deal with these goth vampire kids trying to hook up with all the hot women. I feel bad for our future kids of america. Cause we saw what Jungle Fever did, all the african american guys were stealing all the white women, something about being “big” downstairs. Luckily, normal guys wont have to compete with the goth kids because we all know that they have enough problems and being batshit crazy that women will hopefully be smart enough to realize that these people hang upside down in closets and cut people to taste blood.

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