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danger

Unicorns + Gmail Chat

04.22.08 | 1 Comment

So most of you don’t know I get the most random gmail conversations from my friends. This will be the beginning of what you should for see in the life of Danger, and many MANY more random posts.

Insert Gmail Chat. I’ll give you the Character Background: Rachel is a friend from the north who is on the same plan to make money in a game we play called Second Life. Chris is one of my friends from the retired BastardFamily.com and from my hometown. Evan is one of my good friends in the Radio Engineering business

10:40 AM rachelbreaker:if a magical unicorn found you and desired to have sex with you
Magical unicorn
me: yea probably
rachelbreaker: a magical -talking- unicorn
me: for 10 bucks
has to be 10 bucks
rachelbreaker: no srsly
THIS IS a srs question
me: okay
let me think
rachelbreaker: i bet youd say differentyly in the situation
like
10:41 AM when push comes to shove
me: is the unicorn have any stds?
rachelbreaker: you dont know
it came from the sky
me: or is it an angry unicorn
or like more of a magestic
rachelbreaker: so if it does, they prolly amazing
its magestic
me: what do I get out of this experience?
10:42 AM rachelbreaker: no courting
Courting
me: just plain unicorn sex
rachelbreaker: only mad sweaty unicorn magical magestic sodonmy
me: then my answer is no, cause I’m not letting a unicorn rape me
in the ass
rachelbreaker: but like it may not be like that
mabye uinicorn sex is different
me: you just said sodomy
10:43 AM rachelbreaker: mabye unicorn sex is something nobody could ever imagine
oh yeah
i was being funny
for effect
me: ha
so it’s not a question like if your friends do it , would you?
rachelbreaker: i dont even know offically what sodomy is , im pretty wsure, but dont tell me
ill look it up when i abvsolutely have to
10:44 AM what!
– Presuming she looked it up.

Now Evans Response:

10:50 AM Evan: i would… because let’s face it…. unicorns are like the supermodels of horses… and horses are beautiful creatures as it is… can you imagine just how good a unicorn looks?
I’ve just got a feeling that it would be into my needs… a gentle lover
10:52 AM Evan: then again… since they don’t really exist… I’m clean
Last Unicorn
Now Chris’s Response:
Chris: i’d be like wtf

and say no
10:56 AM me: would you pour syrup on it?
Syrup
Chris: yeah i’d pour piping hot syrup all over it to singe its fur
then i’d cut off half hte horn and sell it to an ivory speculator tribesman in tanzania
10:57 AM and then later i’d realize i probably got a shit deal on that
and i’d masturbate into a bust of john candy’s asshole
John Candy
me: HAHAHAHAHA
Chris: that i have prominently displayed in my foyer

So what would you do?

note: This all happened within 3 minutes of me signing into Gmail.

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