There’s a quote that I love by the great Willy Wonka…the good one, the original. Not the Johnny Depp version, with that green skin and suspicious purple rubber gloves. No Johnny Depp, I won’t drop my drawers and bend over.
“There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you’ll be free if you truly wish to be.” -Willy Wonka – possibly singing about how cool it must be to live like a Bandit
Imagination, the sure fire way to entertainment when you’re bored, alone, an only child, or a wingman for your buddy who got the “cute one”. I implore you to call upon your imagination and join me on a journey, a Wishtastical Journey that will take us all around the world, and possibly other worlds as well! We’ll meet amazing people, do exciting things, and experience the most awesome things ever!
This journey is a Journey of Wishes, presented to you in Hi-Def. Please fasten your seat belts and place your tray tables in their upright positions. We’re off!
Our 1st stop brings us to Ireland. The Emerald Isle, the 20th largest island in the world, is renowned for it’s beauty and culture. And it’s Leprechauns. And where there’s Leprechauns, there is gold. Leprechauns have been hiding gold and making us all poorer in the process for well over 10,000 years. I can only assume that if someone were to stop all of the gold smuggling done by these little men that poverty as a whole would be completely eliminated.
Oh no you don’t dude, we’ve spotted you. And now, we’re going to catch you. But, not until after we stop at our 2nd destination.
A real and true Irish Pub. This is something I’ve wanted to do for years. A pint of Guiness, in a pub, in the country that started out this whole “drinking” habit we’re all so fond of. Let’s gather round the table and raise a glass or seven.
So after we get Sloppy Freaking Drunk in Ireland we’ll head back out into the woods and Go on a Drunken Leprechaun Hunt. We’ll go down in history as the people who ended World Hunger and Homelessness, and we won’t remember doing it, and we’ll probably have to have knee surgery.
Our 3rd stop on this train bound for awesome is the moon. We’ve all seen the moon, and we all know it’s made of delicious cheese.
Well, I want to go there. I’ve always dreamed of going to space, and I think the moon is just as good a place to go as any. But, I don’t want to just go by myself. What fun would jumping around at next to zero gravity, if I didn’t have a friend to land on when I came down. I want to go to the moon and have a Sexy Moon Dance Party.
Our 4th destination on this Wishtastical Journey takes us Australia! How much fun is Australia?!?!
Look, they’ve got people, koalas, the Opera House in Sydney, some stupid bridge, an alligator, and the pride and joy of the Land Down Under, and the whole reason I want to go there. Kanga-freakin-roos! I love these things… bouncy bouncy bouncy. And oh what a joy it would be to Ride Around in a Kangaroo Pouch.
Of course, my kangaroo would still be able to bounce.
That picture leads me to my next wish. Let’s take a left up here and head right on over to our 5th destination, Quahog, Rhode Island. The home of the Griffins.
Peter, Chris, Stewie, Meg, Bryan… and Lois. Oh man. Lois Griffin, the 2nd hottest cartoon character ever. Right behind Jessica Rabbit. I know at one point or another you’ve all thought the same as me. And who wouldn’t want to meet Lois in person? And by meet, I mean, more than meeting.
Our 6th stop brings us to New York City.
The Big Apple. Cool place huh? But, I’m not here to sight see. I’m here because anybody who knows me, knows that I want to be Spider-Man. And here’s how I see it. That spider that bit Peter Parker, he’s probably still around there somewhere. I want it to bite me too! It’s simple really. I won’t even be a copy cat. I want to be Spider-Man, but I don’t necessarily have to have the same name. I can be That Guy With Spider-like Skills.
See, it’s like a totally different person. I’m getting goose bumps just thinking about it.
Where to next you ask? The 7th place we’re visiting will bring back memories fo’ sho’. Up around the bend is Duckburg! And it’s time for Ducktales, a wooo oooo, everyday they’re out there making…
wooo oooo.
I don’t want to go to Duckburg to live amongst ducks… or dogs for that matter. (Side Note: Isn’t it a little odd how a place called Duckburg, populated by ducks, was constantly being attacked/robbed/slandered by the Beagle Boys?)
I want to go to Duckburg, so I can Swim in Money.
Onward friends to our 8th spot on the map. Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I love to eat. And I get all giddy inside like a school girl every time mealtime rolls around. I love breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, desserts; I love it all. I’ve often been compared to a bottomless pit.
On that note, I wish that I Lived in a Land Where Everything is Edible. You know, kinda like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
Seriously, I’d eat so much people would call me Eaty McEatsabunchafood, I’d be Irish apparently.
Before we arrive at our next destination, let me warn you that you may also become as passionate as I have about wanting something more than anything else in the world. Our 9th location on this journey drops us off at the faraway planet of Cybertron. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet my car. Optimus Prime.
Of course I’d have to make him paint himself black. Because I don’t look good in red and blue.
Come ride with me, come ride, let’s fly away…to the 10th destination on our journey. All the way to Orlando, Florida and the Happiest Place on Earth, Walt Disney World.
Dude. I. Love. This. Place.
I could spend the rest of my life here, and never get bored. I Want To Live as the King of Disney World. Sure, it’s a little far fetched. I’d have to manage to secede from the Union, start my own Kingdom right in the middle of Florida. But, it could work. And just imagine how awesome it would be. Live in a castle, unlimited rides, and of course the best part of being King…
Let’s go ladies, Optimus is waiting to take us to Ireland for some Leprechaun Huntin!
