It’s back, as promised. Another edition of…
“COULDA BEEN A BANDIT!” <insert cheesy game show music>
Coulda Been A Bandit is pictures of complete strangers doing things that if we actually knew them would make them immediate Bandits. And I salute you complete strangers… for if I knew you, I would crown you with a Sweatband of Gold this very second.
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“I don’t need pants.”
No sir, I wouldn’t worry about your pants either. And that’s why you deserve to be a Bandit. I especially love the gentleman’s face, as if it’s the fault of the glass in his hand that his pants are unzipped and falling down in the first place. And in fact, it probably is. If the stupid glass wasn’t in his hand, he’d have both hands free to zip up.
“I love you too man!”
At some point in any Bandit get together, those words are going to be said. Bandits are not afraid of loving. Or being a little gay together. Or groping each other. Or licking each other. Or any number of things that can’t be listed on a website that is marketed to children.
“I’ll play Pool however the hell I want to play Pool.”
Ah, Bandits don’t follow rules. Just watch us playing video games. I have to give this guy some credit though. Not only is he breaking the law of The Game of Pool. He’s doing it in style. And with a bitchin’ beard.
“….”
Without a doubt, this guy is the funniest person alive. And the sad thing is, no one realizes it. Eddie Murphy has made like 7 movies that have absolutely bombed over the past few years and people pay him millions of dollars to do it. However, this fella, he’s got nothing. Or maybe he does. I suppose it’s perfectly possible that someone passed by shortly after this picture was taken, handed him the going rate for karate lessons, and moved on. But, probably not. I am proud of you funny poor man. You are a Bandit in my eyes.
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That’s all for this edition of: “COULDA BEEN A BANDIT!” <insert cheesy game show music>
Until next time, I leave you with this…
That’s funnier than a 65 year old man (not 75 as once thought) making comments about George Strait’s sexuality and Jessica Simpson’s ass in the same hour!
I don’t have a picture- but the other day at the Pocket’s on 12th street, a guy came in while I was paying for my damn car wash, and left rather quickly. I nicely explained to the, not one, but TWO clerks behind the desk- “Hey, asshole- that guy just stole something.” Sure enough, Mr. Employee of the Month looks out the window and says “Hey- he does have a 20 oz in his hand!” followed by “Holy shit! That dude just did a backflip!”. I told him in that case, he should just let the guy go. I mean…he did just do a backflip.
This story had a point. But I don’t remember it.
Um..
Backflips get you free soda.