It’s on like Donkey Kong boys, let’s get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let’s hear it for the home team, taking the field are your very own Mav City Peniscopters!
In at Quarterback… with the know how to get the job because he’s led teams to victory many times before.
Optimus Prime is literally the ideal choice for the QB spot. Robotic Arms can throw the ball for miles, so 10 yards for the 1st Down is no problem. Need him to scramble for a small pick up, no biggie, he’ll just “transform and roll out.” And don’t get me started on the guy’s tailgating skills.
The Halfback spot goes to the unstoppable force known as The Juggernaut.
Being the geek that I am, I realize this is pretty much the best man for the job. Once he starts moving, there’s nothing that can stop him. Unless you traded Kitty Pryde from the X-Men, you aren’t taking this guy down period.
Pretty badass so far huh? Well, the Peniscopters basically blew the salary cap right there. From here on out, it’s just kinda who was free or bored.
At Tight End.
This chick with a Tight End shirt on.
Our passing game is going to set records this year, because we’ve hired several guys who have been on the “receiving end” plenty of times for over 30 years.
And of course you’ve got to have someone to protect all these fellas. And that’s where the unstoppable O-line comes in. When you’re talking Offensive Linemen, you want big, strong, burly, mean. Ours is none of those things. However, we’re hoping with a little luck…
The other team’s defenses have respect for the law.
And that brings us to the defensive side of the field, and that friends is where the Peniscopters really start to shine. Our Defensive Line has made a big impact on the earth and we expect huge things from it this season. That’s right, I said it.
The Great Wall of China. Yeah, all 4 thousand miles of The Great Wall is gonna be on the field just begging your running backs to try and get around the outside. It’s kept Mongols out of China for hundreds of years, it’ll kept your offense out of the endzone.
And atop the wall you’ll find our corners wrecking your passing routes.
Your wide receivers are pigdogs, they smell of elderberries, and they aren’t gonna come close to the endzone with these guys on their backs.
The linebackers… the beef, the muscle, the badassery of the football field. Coming at you from the left.
Batista. Shooting lasers, spearing people, setting off fireworks, and getting tatoos in odd places.
And from the right. He knows when you’ve been sleeping, he’s knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, and you bet he knows if you’re passing or running.
If for some reason you happen to get past all of this, we’ve got it covered. Our safeties have taken down the Death Star, putting a stop to your hail mary pass, pfft.
The Rebel Alliance Star Fleet. Long run for the endzone…
I DON’T THINK SO!
And at kicker.
It’s Charlie Brown. We really think this is his year to shine. It all depends though on how back up QB Lucy decides to treat him. Will she leave the ball on the ground where it’s supposed to be, or will she continue being an enormous bitch.
Wrapping up the team, you of course need a great coach. Someone who is able to organize the team, set up training, and create great plays. Who better to do that than the man who created us all. Coach God.